Swansea City Redesigns Logo to Incorporate Road Works Colour Scheme

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Coat of arms, Swansea city coat of arms, roadworks.
The new coat of arms has been tested as twice as effective in a non combat situation as the previous iteration.
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NotSoGreatDictator

Writer, humourist, satirist, vBlogger and Lego fiend
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Due to the enormous popularity of the city’s conceptual roadworks system Swansea Council has spent £500,000 on a new logo.  Council leader Rob Stewart launched the new logo this week at the Tech Hub in High Street to instant, and universal acclaim.

Council leader Rob Stewart seen here at the rebranding gala demonstrating the technology absorbent structure of the new logo.

The logo features the ever present red and white stripes of the genuine plastic barriers which separate the citizens of Swansea from the volunteer work scenario depiction representatives who decorate the intertextual construction inspired dialogue throughout central Swansea.

Swansea Council, Logo redesign, Roadworks,
Guidelines have been issued about how and when to use the new logo design across all media platforms.

There had been much confusion in the past about the previous logo. Most of the confusion centred around why the Swan looked like a phoenix.

It was only last year an eagle-eyed apprentice, assigned to issue a press release about what to do if Godzilla attacks, noticed an ancient reference indicating that the bird was in fact, an Osprey.  He discovered, by reading on the council website, that in January 1843, the General Purposes Committee of the Council resolved to add the Osprey to the coat of arms.

This was to celebrate ‘Swansea Cyril’ an Osprey that single-handedly rescued seven hundred and fifty-two trawler men in one year through the policy of calling time in The Queens Arms at nine in the evening instead of eleven. In those days Ospreys were often allowed to determine pub opening hours due to an obscure Elizabethan by law.  Rates of syphilis plummeted and the increased healthy population enabled Swansea to remain at the forefront of the industrial revolution.

The legend of Cyril has since been eclipsed by that of ‘Swansea Jack’ who’s more heroic but numerically insignificant rescues have caught the public imagination.  Fans of Swansea Jack usually leave out the bit of the story where he died of syphilis, caught, so they say after a particularly long session on Brains SA in the Queens.

Cyril’s massive contribution to the history of Swansea has not been forgotten except in that nobody remembers it, but Swansea council thought it was time to update its public image ready for the much-anticipated City Deal.  Highest on their list of priorities was that the logo should represent something less associated with syphilis and more associated with Swansea’s current status as the ‘Real City of Culture’.

What better then, than the largest conceptual artwork in the world?  Below we see the description of the city’s Coat of Arms with the new road works emblem highlighted in bold.

Per Fess wavy Azure and barry wavy of six Argent, of the first a double-towered Castle or, in Chief on an Inescutcheon of the third a Lion passant guardant Gules; And for the Crest, On a Wreath of the Colours a Plastic Barrier, Gules on a Blanc field, Cottice, Rampant.  Supporters: on the dexter side a Lion Gules gorged with a Mural Crown or, and on the sinister side a Dragon Gules gorged with a Mural Crown.

Coat of arms, Swansea city coat of arms, roadworks.
The new coat of arms has been tested as twice as effective in a non combat situation as the previous iteration.

Temporary, acting, interim, vice media liaison officer for the Making Swansea Great Again, Sean Spicer had this to say.

This is the best logo.  It’s got colour, stripes.  Beautiful stripes.  Imagine if we didn’t have stripes.  Wow…  This logo, let me tell you, it’s going to be… I love this logo.  It’s getting all the best reviews.  All the other logos from now on, they’re all going to have the stripes.  You just wait.  A guy came up to me last week and he already… He had this logo on his T-shirt.  Big shirt.  You can put it on a shirt, did you know that?  Hats, everything…  Let’s here it for the logo.  Any questions?

Journalist

Is it true you were the Milky Bar kid between 1987 and 1991?

Sean Spicer

Fake news.


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