As Brexit negotiations begin, two voters with Edwin Phillips (V1 and V2) in the South Wales valleys discuss politics and Welsh First Minister’s Carwyn Jones’ statement that Brexit presents an opportunity to “reinvent” the United Kingdom.
V1: (Gloomily) what complete and utter nonsense.
V2: (Nodding) yes, “reinvent and strengthen” my arse.
Everyone knows the Maybot (Prime Minister Theresa May) doesn’t give a toss about Wales or Carwyn ‘First Minister’ Jones.
She has other things on her mind.
V1: (Sounding knowledgeable) she certainly does.
Did you see The Sunday Times last week?
Those Tories are going to get rid of the Maybot in short-order.
They’re only hanging back from putting the knife in, because they’re scared stiff of letting that bearded lefty (the leader of the Labour party Jeremy Corbyn) in to Number 10.
V2: (Coughs) er, I return to my point about the Maybot’s mind – some of those Tories quoted in The Sunday Times, say she has lost it.
They were all unnamed though.
V1: Yes, and Carwyn must be out of his mind, too.
Fancy writing to the Maybot urging her to “rethink plans for a hard Brexit” as the media put it, because she has “no mandate” for it after those Tory idiots lost their majority.
V2: (Grinning) I couldn’t help laughing at that, mind.
They started the campaign 20 points ahead of the bearded lefty.
Then they ended up losing their majority and having to grovel to the Democratic Unionist Party (DUP) to stay in Government!
The Economist called it “chaos”, The Times called it a “fiasco”.
The Queen’s speech was described in the media as “nitpicking and drab”.
V1: (Also starting to grin) it is unbelievable isn’t it?!
Talking of the DUP – they warned the Tories they “cannot be taken for granted” before the Queen’s speech.
The Maybot and her crew had jumped the gun over the “deal” with them – they had to retract their statement!
The Maybot even messed up that awful Grenfell tower business.
She can’t deal with ordinary people, so she met some of the surviving victims ‘in private’.
Mind you, we have our own share of unbelievable things don’t we?
V2: (Rolling eyes) you mean that education nonsense don’t you?
V1: (Grimly) indeed I do.
Our school kids aren’t good enough so instead of making education in Wales better, they just drop the target!
(Ministers wanted to see Welsh pupils achieve a score of 500 in every subject by 2021 in the international Pisa tests, but Welsh Education Secretary Kirsty Williams told a committee of Assembly Members: “It’s not my target”).
V2: Er, yes, perhaps the Maybot should use that one.
‘It’s not my target’ to stay in office.
(On Monday the two voters discuss revelations in The Eye UKIP were criticised in a European Union report for using “non-eligible expenditure” during last year’s Welsh Assembly election).