After contentious Swansea University Pro Vice-Chancellor, Hilary Lappin-Scott (HLS) told a colleague (C) about the importance of her tweets from around the world, here she goes on to tell him about her vital role in the promotion of women, with Edwin Phillips still at the meeting.
C: (Sighing) any other junkets to tell me about?
H L-S: Well, I’m glad you asked me, there was the extremely important trip to Boston as part of the MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) Regional Entrepreneurship Acceleration Program which will of course boost our rankings in those crucial league tables.
As instructed I had to do very little.
I delegated somebody else in my team to make the last presentation and then turned up to have a photo of myself being presented with my certificate.
Because of my outstanding leadership skills I will also delegate to my team members the responsibility for writing most of the report for the Welsh Government.
(Coughs) mind you, as all my many followers on Twitter know I heartily deplore that sexist rubbish.
(Louder) of course, I, me, moi, myself, will write, singlehandedly, the most important and critical part of the report which will be on the role of women in creating a successful entrepreneurial environment.
C: (Muttering and sarcastically) inevitably you will want to tell me about gender and equality.
H L-S: (Beaming) yes, and here’s another huge success story for Swansea University.
Swansea reported the third largest increase in the number of female professors over the last three years.
Because of moi, the number of female professors at Swansea increased by a staggering 5.6% since 2013/14.
C: (Sarcastically again) very encouraging I’m sure.
Can you therefore please tell me why Swansea University still has one of the lowest proportions of female professors?
(Growing in confidence) even after the 5.6% increase, female professors still only comprise 17.7% Swansea’s professoriate.
This compares with 28.7% at the University of Sussex.
In other words. on your watch, Swansea University is still doing dismally.
H L-S: (Looks round frantically) er, what I do know is that whenever I chair an appointments board, I always appoint the female, regardless of ability or gender or sexual orientation or intersectionality.
If a female applicant for a professorship can read and do joined-up writing, that’s good enough for me.
And nobody in the university is going to disagree with me (Quietly) that is if they want to keep their job.
C: I noted that you tweeted ” … it is now the gender pay gap that we must work on”.
I presume that you think that change must first take place at the top?
H L-S: The top is the only place to start.
When a female (such as a senior Pro Vice-Chancellor – no names, no pack drill) is effectively carrying a university and when she admits to “frequently deputising for the Vice-Chancellor for internal and external decision-making”, is it right and just that such a female should have a salary which is more than 30% lower than the male vice-chancellor?
The only equitable solution in this case is, of course, for the Vice-Chancellor to retire gracefully (and soon) and make way for a female successor.
It is all part of what Darwin would have called the superiority of the species.
Onwards and upwards – especially my salary or, as my translator kindly suggested…”dwi ‘n dda i ddim”.
Tomorrow, why a Welsh political lobbyist is in legal trouble.