In order to maintain the fiction of his “Ring of Iron” being an ill thought out piece of environmental art Ken Skates AM, Cabinet Secretary for Economy and Infrastructure dramatically fired his director of communications this week and replaced her with the recently available Anthony Scaramucci. The plot thickened further when rumours started to circulate that Mr Skates and Mr Scaramucci were in fact twin brothers, separated at birth by an evil magician.
This is based on an uncanny physical resemblance and the cold hard fact that in ancient Norwegian Scaramucci means “one who glides on ice”. Anti nepotism rules introduced in 2002 as a result of the “Hutt Hutt” scandal mean that no cabinet member is allowed to hire anyone who’s DNA could be mistaken for their own at a crime scene.
The “Hutt Hutt” scandal erupted when Leader of the House and Chief Whip Jane Hutt AM cloned herself so she could attend committee meetings and watch Storage Hunters at the same time. She got away with it for three months until eventually she was caught standing on her own shoulders, wearing a massive raincoat, trying to get into an 18 certificate film.
If Mr Skates and Mr Scaramucci, or S.S as they have quickly become known in the corridors of power turn out to be twins it will fulfill the prophecy which is said to be a sign of the coming apocalypse. The exact wording of the prophecy is lost in the mists of time but in modern parlance it translates to “If one is a government minister and the other a recently fired, foul mouthed, self admitted front stabber and they shall be twin brothers, the world of man on it’s axis will turn no more and the light of the sun shall not bring forth another hopeful dawn”.
The prophecy aside we have to hand it to Mr Scaramucci who has set to work with rare enthusiasm and has already changed the name of his department from “The Department for Economy and Infrastructure” to “The Department for Economy and Infrastructure Sound Machine”. This he believes will give it a more vital and cutting edge public image. It will also force people to imagine Mr Skates dancing to the the conga rhythms of Dr Beat whenever his name is mentioned on TV.
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