Media monkey business

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Our satirical writer Edwin Phillips reads an alternative ‘manifesto’ for a new media service in Wales from ‘project co-ordinator’, comedian Huw Marshall, after The Eye revealed that he had made sick ‘jokes’ about a murdering gunman, was placed under investigation by the police, publiclly abused prominent Welsh politicians, and been reprimanded by one of the social media companies he used for the insults.

 

As I have said in my original manifesto for New Media Wales (NMW) which was widely praised: “We will be politically neutral, we have to be, our aim will be to deliver scrutiny and clarity around the policies being proposed by the various political parties in Wales in the run up to the Welsh general election being contested in May 2021″.

Neutrality is a watchword for New Media Wales

For everyone, this neutrality will not be affected in any way by the fact that I stood as a candidate for a political party which promotes nationalism.

It simply shows my extensive political experience that in 1992 I was the Welsh nationalist party Plaid Cymru’s (PC) Parliamentary candidate in Cardiff Central, coming fourth with the enormous tally of 748 votes.

Sadly my plans to stand also for election as a councillor came to nothing when faceless bureaucrats noticed that I had posted extremely funny jokes about the gunman Raoul Moat on Facebook (FB) when he was on the run from the police after killing two people, and made very observant references to politicians on Twitter in calling them ‘twats’.

Armed police pursue the ‘sexy 19 year old blonde’

Apart from the two people dying, a police officer also lost the sight in both eyes and the incident was ripe for my kind of humour, so on July 8, 2010 I published a message on my FB site, reading: “Hi I’m a sexy 19 year old blond (sic) from the North East of England looking for some fun. My Mr Right should be a big strong ginger man with a fiery temper and a jealous nature, who also enjoys camping and writing long letters. If this sounds like you contact me at armedresponse@northumberlandpolice.org.uk.”

I’m a sexy roll over to Huw Marshall

Another of my very funny posts read: “Moat reward… if he isn’t caught by next Wednesday, the rewards being doubled. It’s going to be a Raul (sic) over”.

Ha! Ha!

This shows the kind of man I am.

It seems, though, that not everyone supports me, because I was pulled up by Twitter as (THEY said) one “account violated the Twitter Rules”, and apparently found that another of my extremely popular accounts, “Welsh Bollocks”, had also broken regulations.

It’s so intelligent to talk about two people being ‘twats’

In 2013, I am very proud to say that it emerged I had made those observant remarks to the senior politicians, on Twitter, by dubbing them ‘twats’

But it appears that further totally unreasonable complaints led to the reprimands.

One of those sharp-eyed ‘twat’ comments seven years ago, was directed at the Labour MS and minister Ken Skates, with another accurately thrown at the former Liberal Democrat AM Peter Black.

After Mr ‘Twat’ Skates tweeted in celebration of a one-vote council by-election victory over PC in Ruabon, I hilariously referred to him in my own tweet as a “gloating t**t”, and faultlessly also described Mr ‘Twat’ Black as a “humourless t..t” and a “dull, tedious t..t”.

Huw Marshall’s plans even made it into the UK media

These events show I am just the person to start NMW.

My ‘plans’ for NMW have even featured in HoldtheFrontPage.Co.UK – a website for UK journalists – showing how important people believe it is.

The website reported:  “In a blog post about his plans, Huw wrote: ‘We are developing a fully functioning news and media business to serve the whole of Wales, one that delivers the level of service you would expect from a national platform’”.

Congratulations on getting all that money pledged

And in one statement, the website also said:  So far a crowdfunding initiative has seen 48 patrons pledge a total of £333 per month to the project”.

Actually it is a lot more than that, and the irritating website The Eye highlighted the fact that a few weeks ago I had secured a total of 179 patrons pledging £1,221 per month, but I need a lot more – at least 500 to launch.

Apart from a new media service for Wales, Huw Marshall has so many other companies planned…

Financing my very popular ventures has always been problematic, as I have stated on social media: “Just had feedback on an unsuccessful funding bid. I use the word feedback in the loosest possible term…..”.

But I am undaunted because I know that for NMW to succeed it requires a man of confidence.

I have also said on Twitter:  “Currently working on the development of a couple of new companies. My first considerations are what is the problem we are trying to solve, what are the benefits to the public and society? I haven’t given any thought to an exit valuation and salary… Maybe I’m doing it wrong”.

Hue Marshall said he could go into the BBC tomorrow and save them money

A further one which shows the top executive what I am is:  “…I could go in to the BBC tomorrow and save millions without impacting the content they produce…”

Which is probably why I have been headhunted as a Director of the leading children and parents organisation Mudiad Meithrin (MM) (see story tomorrow).

Officials there realised how important getting me was because they said they were “delighted”.

Officials were ‘delighted’ to get Huw Marshall

They were not at all put off by the fact that I was under investigation by the police for alleged harassment.

As will have counted in my favour, I put it on Twitter that I had informed South Wales Police I intended to make a complaint, however regrettably officers responded by telling me they have a “responsibility to investigate any reports”

But I am the responsible one, not them – as is shown by my making tattifilarious jokes about a gunman on the run after killing people, being rebuked by Twitter, calling politicians ‘twats’, and being investigated by the police…

 

 

Tomorrow – the extraordinary reaction to our revelation that Mr Marshall is joining an organisation that helps children and families. 

Book poster

Our Editor Phil Parry’s memories of his astonishing 37-year award-winning career in journalism (before the advent of NMW) as he was gripped by the rare disabling condition Hereditary Spastic Paraplegia (HSP), have been released in a major book ‘A GOOD STORY’. Order the book now!