Sorry is the hardest word

Many years ago when I was immature and, let’s face it, downright stupid, I made the suggestion that in order to rid society of racism all people who are not white should be painted white.

I realise now that this could be construed as racist in its own right and I’d like to take this opportunity to #apologise.

It wouldn’t work anyway because white paint is not the same white as a whiteperson’s skin.

People, be they black, brown, yellow or … I can’t think of any other colour people … would stand out a mile if they were painted white, and that would defeat the purpose of painting them in the first place.

As I say it was a stupid idea and I am sorry.

And the thing I said about Jewish people having to work in bakeries, I’m sorry about that too.

Jewish people should be allowed to work wherever they like.

While I’m at it I’d also like to take this opportunity to #apologise to gay men for my one time insistence that they shouldn’t be allowed to do jobs that suggest they are heterosexual, scaffolding being a good example.

Once again it was immaturity that caused me to think in such a skewed way.

I just blabbered these things out loud when they came into my mind.

I was too stupid to think them through much like women are.

Um … not all women of course … just stupid women.

Intelligent women don’t talk rubbish.

They are the same as everybody else.

I am sure you all agree on this.

I have been inspired to give these apologies by the recent spate of apologies that people have been making about things they once said when they were stupid.

On reflection I have said so many stupid things in the past that I could quite literally go on apologising forever.

I #apologise for this.

If anyone can think of anything I have said that was rubbish and I haven’t included it here, please let me know and I will #apologise for it, whatever it may be, then.

OK – once again sorry.

I can’t keep saying it.

Sorry. #apologise