Untied Kingdom Independence Party


Edwin Phillips

Edwin is a satirist who writes stories for The Eye.
Edwin Phillips

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UKIP must confront huge issues

Edwin Phillips is with two South Wales valleys voters (V1) and (V2) discussing last week’s revelations by The Eye about UKIP’s “non-eligible expenditure in the Welsh Assembly election, uncovered in a European Union report.

V1:  (Laughing) did you see what The Eye have come up with now?

UKIP used “non-eligible expenditure” apparently.

V2:  (Grinning) yes I saw that.

They did so well too (UKIP won seven Welsh Assembly seats).

Crying over spilt elections – UKIP’s Paul Nuttall

V1:  (Suddenly sternly) mind you it’s no laughing matter.

After all, that report said UKIP had “a substantial number of activities for which financing ought to be considered as non-eligible expenditure” in those Welsh Assembly elections last year.

Then they get all those seats!

V2:  Yeah, I know.

They haven’t got any MPs either have they?

(Now his turn to laugh) I’ve lost count of the number of leaders they’ve had!

Steven Woolfe after his ‘altercation’ with UKIP colleague Mike Hookem

They’ve just lost another one!  (Paul Nuttall stood down after UKIP failed to win a single parliamentary seat in the recent General Election).

V2:  (Returning to laughter) it’s a complete joke isn’t it?!

There was that “altercation” involving a UKIP bloke in the European parliament (Steven Woolfe was pictured sprawled on the floor).

Their Welsh lot aren’t much better.

That leader of theirs in the assembly (Neil Hamilton) got rid of that other one (Nathan Gill who now sits as an independent).

V1:  Mmm… I wish I felt sorry for them.

How does he live this down?

V2:  The media called it “civil war”.

(Grimly) Hamilton has an interesting past too.

People seem to forget he was called a “liar and a cheat” on the front of a UK newspaper.

V1:  Another word they have used for that background is “colourful”.

Which is more than I can say about the Queen’s speech on Wednesday.

The Times called it “drab”.

Tomorrow the Welsh Government’s policy supporting children under fire. 



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