Wall game

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Edwin Phillips
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Ifan Morgan Jones and partner urge us to vote for the ‘Party of Wales’

After the controversial website backed by public money Nation.Cymru ‘reported’ that support for Welsh independence has ‘risen’ to 11 per cent, our satirical writer Edwin Phillips reads an alternative Press Release to the mainstream media in Wales from the organisation in favour of it Yes Cymru.

 

From:  Strategic Home Independence Team (SHIT)

To:  All Regional Staff Editorial (ARSE)

Time:  Now

 

Independence for Wales is serious…

We in SHIT say to the people of Wales: you have nothing to lose but your chains in a world of independence, and you will embrace the fact that it shall involve razor wire, a wall, and armed border posts.

It is entirely accurate for Nation.Cymru to report that “Support for Welsh independence has risen again” when a survey puts it at 11 per cent, up from seven per cent.

Ignore those doomsayers who appear to be against Wales standing on its own two feet, who tell us the polls are all over the place anyway, just because one put support at 30 per cent and another at 21 per cent.

What’s my tail doing?!

This is complete nonsense – it is clear from the demonstrations that more support us in Wales than ever, and it is not in anyway a short stubby tail wagging a very large dog.

As we say on our website to those who are apparently, worried by it: “Our aim is to gain independence for Wales, in order to improve the way our country is governed”.

An independent Wales would be so welcoming

These improvements will mean razor wire stretching all the way down Offa’s Dyke.

 

Border posts with armed officers will be created at key points on the Welsh/English frontier such as at Wrexham (Wrecsam) in the north, where there was to have been an independence march next month showing how much support we have, until it had to be postponed because of this Coronavirus thing which was clearly an English plot.

Super intelligent armed officers will man border posts

The one in the south will be at Chepstow (Cas-gwent), and a shack will be put up for a border post in a field somewhere in mid Wales.

All goods coming out of, and into, Wales will be checked at this border, so we say to our farmers exporting livestock:  “Pig out!”.

These armed officers at the border posts will be backed by a praetorian guard of those nationalists who want Welsh independence, for as one of the comments on Nation.Cymru reads:  “Welsh National Party will move things along, too. Things looking decidedly warm for reactionaries”.

A modern approach would be employed at the border

Or as an opinion piece on Nation.Cymru headlined:  “Why Wales should have the power to make St David’s day a national holiday”, and as was said so accurately on the website:  We’re not allowed to have a bank holiday for St David’s Day because Westminster deems it so.

“This is just one of a litany of indignities inflicted by the Westminster elite on Wales, and it may seem like a relatively trivial one.”

SHITTERS like us know support for independence is on the rise.

There will be grown up military personnel at border posts

After all, only the other day came that poll reported in Nation.Cymru – when last time the figure for those backing independence was at seven points, now it is a full FOUR POINTS more!

We are confident that all neutral journalists, such as Ifan Morgan Jones the esteemed Editor of Nation.Cymru will support measures, including razor wire at the border with the foreign colonial power of England, which are not extreme at all.

He is, of course, a lecturer in journalism at Bangor University’s Department of Creative Studies and Media, on a course which is regrettably not accredited by the National Council for the Training of Journalists (NCTJ).

We knew Dr Jones was one of us when he published on Facebook last December a picture of a postal ballot paper with his pen pointing at the Plaid Cymru (PC) candidate, and has posted a photograph of himself and his partner underneath the slogan “I’m voting Plaid Cymru”.

Ifan Morgan Jones posted a picture of his ballot paper with pen pointing towards Plaid Cymru

In July 2016 we were pleased to see he had helped to promote a rally for Welsh independence in Caernarfon, and said that Wales:  “faced being part of a state which (is) being politically neglected”.

Last September an excellent opinion piece was published in which he said:  “In an independent Wales, the future of our nation wouldn’t be decided by politicians completely removed from our concerns, like gods playing dice with our fate on the summit of Mount Olympus”.

The figures are going the way of ‘independence’

Other figures apart from the polls also back us up.

In the 2016 Welsh Assembly elections PC secured 12 seats, one more than the Tories although unfortunately 17 fewer than Labour (the party regrettably in power in Wales) – both of these parties have not seen the light, and are sadly opposed to independence.

In the General Election of 2019 PC gained more than nine per cent of the popular vote!

Unfortunately again, Labour was on 40.9 per cent.

Nation.Cymru wants more money than just the Books Council of Wales funding

It is noteworthy that taxpayers money through the Books Council of Wales (BCW) is used to back Nation.Cymru and, we are pleased to emphasise, effectively independence too, although as Mr Jones has pointed out, this is not enough and he said plainly on his site:  “Much of the current money we do have to spend is due to support through the kindness of the Welsh Books Council.

“But such public money is thin on the ground, and ideally, no news site should be dependent on grants that, in the current financial climate, may not last forever.”

Dafydd Elis-Thomas – ‘delighted’

The Deputy Minister for Culture, Sport and Tourism, Dafydd Elis-Thomas (a former leading figure in PC), underlined it so eloquently when he declared that he was “delighted” to support the BCW in a major investment.

“This will be a significant boost to the Books Council of Wales but also the whole publishing industry in Wales,” he said.

Book posterIt is not just the BCW which is boosted – but support for Welsh independence when one poll puts it at 11 per cent, another at seven per cent, another at 21 per cent and another at 30 per cent…

 

Tomorrow – why Nation.Cymru did NOT run an anti-Plaid Cymru piece but DID run one that was anti the Tories.

Our Editor Phil Parry’s memories of his extraordinary 36-year award-winning career in journalism as he was gripped by the incurable disabling condition Hereditary Spastic Paraplegia (HSP), have been released in a major new book ‘A GOOD STORY’, which is NOT supported by the BCW! Order the book now! The picture doubles as a cut-and-paste poster!