Donald Trump Radicalised After Visit To Cardiff Hotel

Donald Trump relaxing at Trump Towers prior to running for president.
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Tudor Grehamby of Llanpumsaint told yesterday of his seminal role in radicalising Donald Trump.  Tudor, along with his wife Glendolynne, runs the holistic therapy institute for mindfulness as part of the sustainably integrated complementary centre for the politically spiteful just outside Llanpumsaint off the B4301.

He and his wife radicalised the Trumps in 2015 when Donald and Melania were on an all inclusive at the Radisson Blu in Cardiff. Tired of the glitz and glamour of the capital they spotted Tudor’s leaflet in the hotel welcome pack and were initially drawn to the Therapeutic Nasal Coma Induction and the complimentary Ear Candles.

Donald Trump relaxing at Trump Towers prior to running for president.

As the premier member of the South West Wales association of alternative health and lifestyle gurus the centre offers, amongst other therapies:

  • Crystal healing
  • Therapeutic Horseback Riding
  • Rebirthing (breathing)
  • Reiki
  • Enemas
  • Rolfing (Structural Integration)
  • Yoga
  • Extreme Radicalisation Therapy

Because organisations like ISIS, the Ku Klux Klan (KKK) and the World Wrestling Federation (WWF) are putting so much effort into their social media presence nowadays they suddenly find they don’t have the resources for face-to-face radicalisation anymore. Outsourcing the work using franchise models based on local licenses, bespoke training and luncheon vouchers has seen their reach broaden and cash flow improve dramatically. For cash-strapped alternative therapy centres, it has been a Godsend and West Wales has been quick to take up the slack.

Interviewed earlier this year Tudor was very proud of his part in developing Donald Trump’s political outlook.

“Well when he come to us he’d never even heard of politics, he could barely make a sandwich.  He’d seen one of our leaflets in the hotel and to be honest he just fancied a bit of therapeutic horseback riding and maybe an enema or two. Now I was on it like a shot because we got a three for two deal Fridays and Tuesdays and we get the commission on the extreme radicalisation therapy as part of the franchise.

 We offer radical Islam, radical Christianity, radical yoga and extreme right-wing ideology with an upgrade to Make insert name here Great Again for an additional £2.50, lunch included.  As a businessman, he’s got an eye for a bargain and he went for the extreme right-wing package. Melania was a bit more reserved so she skipped lunch.

Well imagine my surprise when we saw him on the TV and he do be running for the president of the United States of America.  Fair play to him, he’d remembered everything and his hair looked lovely.” 

Since the election of Donald Trump, Tudor has been to the White House 15 times and on one occasion was required to send out for a horse and three additional super plus enema pumps.

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He could be Liberace’s brother! The resemblance is staggering!