Our satirical writer Edwin Phillips reads an internal memo from Welsh nationalist party Plaid Cymru (PC) advising members to use the language of one of their new councillors who described a political leader as an ‘arse’ on Twitter, called a famous entertainer a ‘twat’, used the social media site to abuse members of the media, said ‘fuck’ many times, and has published the ‘c’ word.
FROM: Standards Information Committee Knowledge (SICK)
TO: Strategic Higher Individuals Terminology (SHIT)
We in Plaid Cymru (PC) hereby issue SICK guidance to all members that they should be aware of the language used in political discourse, and follow the fine example of Gary Pritchard.
We undertake SICK applause that he has described an opposition political leader as an ‘arse’, called a famous entertainer a ‘twat’, said ‘fuck’ many times, and has published the ‘c’ word.
The fact that Mr Pritchard is now one of our team of councillors on Cyngor Sir Ynys Mon/Isle of Anglesey County Council (ACC) makes the party look stronger than it is.
Regrettably our rules are clear, and we are pushing for SICK changes.
In paragraph 5.1 of the party constitution, it unfortunately states: “Disciplinary measures may be taken against a member by the appropriate body defined in Standing Orders… whose behaviour is… damaging to the party”, and in 17.1iv, it declares that instructions govern the: “Conduct of the party’s elected members”.
In a tweet, Mr Pritchard correctly targeted the Sunday Times columnist Rod Liddle, proclaiming: “Rod Liddle is stiil a twat. Who knew (shrug emoji)“, and “Turns out John Cleese *is* an absolute twat …”.
It is clear that SICK standards are being upheld by Councillor Pritchard’s extensive use of Twitter to espouse the extremely popular cause of independence which sadly the vast majority of Welsh people oppose, and in one tweet he rightly stressed to a doubter: “What the actual fuck are you on about?”.
We in PC are proud of our catch, because Mr Pritchard has worked for BBC Radio Cymru (BBC RC) based in Bangor, and was a commentator on football, which has made even more significant his use of important language – especially at this time when families are watching the Euros.
It was obvious to Councillor Pritchard that a planned break-away of top clubs to form a ‘Super League’ could have badly affected clubs in Wales, so he said: “It’s not your game. it’s ours. (football image) Fuck you @Arsenal @ChelseaFC @LFC @ManCity @ManUtd @SpursOfficial @Atleti @FCBarcelona @realmadrid @juventusfc @acmilan @inter”.
Councillor Pritchard has deployed his considerable language skills to great effect in criticising opposition politicians, and this enhances the reputation of PC.
He has, for example, used social media to declare publicly: “I know it doesn’t need to be said. I mean it’s up there with “(former UK Conservative leader) Iain Duncan Smith is a twat” but Andrew RT Davies (leader of the Welsh Conservatives in the Senedd Cymru/Welsh Parliament [SC/WP]) is an arse (shrug emoji)“.
But perhaps his most outstanding public pronouncement which shows the strength of PC, came after Councillor Pritchard read a statement he opposed, and he tweeted: “If you want to hear him, shut the fuck up you cunt (hashtag) hughhendry”.
However Councillor Pritchard crossed a line when he used social media to attack members of the media, and incorrectly assigned a motive to one, the Editor of that imperialist website The Eye, Phil Parry.
We in the party need them to get our Welsh nationalist message across…
Tomorrow – the language of a presenter in Wales, who talks about her dress and shoes but tells us of pandemic deaths.
The memories of Phil’s remarkable decades-long award-winning career in journalism (including some of the political stories he has covered) as he was gripped by the rare disabling neurological condition Hereditary Spastic Paraplegia (HSP), have been released in a major book ‘A GOOD STORY’. Order the book now! The picture doubles as a cut-and-paste poster!