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Edwin Phillips

Edwin is a satirist who writes stories for The Eye.
Edwin Phillips

Latest posts by Edwin Phillips (see all)

Andrea Byrne’s ‘reports’ are so important

Our satirical columnist Edwin Phillips reads an alternative glossy magazine pushed through the doors of Cardiff homes, with another possible article by new mum ITV Cymru Wales newsreader Andrea Byrne, following the ‘reports’ about her pregnancy, attending the Tennis Wales award ceremony and her recent trip to Wimbledon.

My hubby the international star rugby player Lee made an appearance in the latest issue, but sadly to my legion of fans I was not there.

So everyone had to make do with my important tweet that the audience at a crucial event had a good time watching my hubby the international star rugby player Lee doing a Question and Answer session, along with the many important people there.

Former international star rugby player Lee Byrne (middle) bares his teeth

I can’t stand all those negative whiners who say it was completely vacuous drivel and full of name-dropping.

People like Sian Weather are important!

Anyway, it gave me a chance to show off my well-known humour because I included a hash tag for the baby I had with my hubby the international star rugby player Lee!

Vital news…

Hilarious!

My hubby the international star rugby player Lee was in that vital section where we go out and take pictures of people enjoying themselves at well known functions in Cardiff which we call wittily ‘One Shindig At A Time’.

They usually have a drink in hand which is so significant to our photographer!

Ha! Ha!

More vital news…

Then there are those important adverts for properties nobody can ever afford and prime paid-for features about how to get the teeth whitened for your wedding day.

Speaking about weddings (see what I did there?!) in this edition we also had a critical article called ‘WEDDING DAY DOS AND WEDDING DON’TS’ which was essential reading.

Forget all that investigative journalism nonsense – we want more about what to do on your wedding day!

Mind you, as you all know I am an extremely serious journalist of many years standing, but I now read stories of a different kind than those at ITV Cymru Wales and you can too at Cardiff Life!

Andrea’s jokes are so funny

A little joke there which you may not understand.

Talking of weddings (see what I did there again?!) I’m so glad I have taken my hubby the international star rugby player Lee’s name and I am now Andrea BYRNE – I simply don’t understand all this independent woman business.

Andrea’s dogs should not relax with the newcomer around

My news about our pets is information you want to read too.

I know that you were all enthralled that last time I told you about my small dogs Hank, Marcy and Doug.

They of course have company now!

This should be headline news at ITV Cymru Wales’ Wales at Six!

Andrea’s baby was ready to go abroad

Passport in tiny hand my new baby will be packing her bag, and checking in for her first flight!

Another little joke there which you may not understand.

My hubby Lee would though.

Did I tell you he has been an international star rugby player?

Andrea told us all what it was like to be pregnant

When I was pregnant with baby Byrne (another little joke there which you may not understand), the time I had on my hands meant I could log on to something called ‘the World Wide Web’ or ‘Internet’.

Perhaps you have heard of these.

It gave me a chance to indulge myself as a self-confessed ‘shopaholic’, or someone who enjoys shopping.

It’s better when it’s free…

I like tennis too, especially when I get a free ticket.

Did you see Wimbledon this year?

I should be in the Royal box when I get a free ticket!

Ahem organisers!

Someone called Shostakovich won there this year…

 

Tomorrow why other media in Wales are at fault.

 

 

 

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