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- Charlotte Church to Play Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina - 14th January 2020
The history of roadworks in Swansea has been fraught with rancour and shrouded in mystery. Our investigations into the roadworks have shocked us to the core and as a result, we have had to instigate security protocols. I am currently writing this article from a secret location just off the A470. Or am I?
Lewis Weston Dillwyn writing in 1826 described his purchase of “Longlands” which later became the site of Longlands Hotel. This is currently where the YMCA resides on St. Helens Road. The Eye Wales has discovered that Dillwyn was simply a convenient front for this purchase. The money was put up by an organisation from Lancaster called the Thwait-thorp-dale Mutual Exhumation Society of Friends. Their strangely anachronistic coat of arms appears to feature a ferret performing the Macarena and has recently been revealed to be the ancient Phoenician sign for “delays possible”.
The symbol fell out of use for thousands of years but was taken up in the 11th century by the order of the Knights Hospitaller because it proved useful when their A&E department was rammed on a Saturday night and it also went with the curtains in their secret lair.
Worlds within worlds, within worlds until we eventually trace the true purchasers of the Longlands property. The most powerful organisation in Medieval Europe and still held by many to be the unseen hand behind the great affairs of the world. This photograph reveals that virtually as soon as they had built the Longlands Hotel the Knights Hospitaller began roadworks on St. Helens road. What were they looking for? One hundred and ninety two years later they are still digging and there seems to be no end in sight.
Some say they are after the lost treasure of the temple featuring the ark of the covenant, others that they seek the powers of ancient aliens gifted to early man but lost to the mists of time. There is even a theory that the roadworks themselves are an elaborate ritual wherein the constant digging of trenches and filling in of trenches will eventually release the energies of the underworld making these ‘the roadworks to end all roadworks’.
We will probably never know exactly why the roadworks in Swansea are never ending but one thing is for sure. The unseen hand of mysterious and malign forces is behind it all and we should dread any power that can cripple a city centre for nearly two hundred years and counting. The truth probably isn’t out there.
