Scientists Discover Evidence of Pre-Christian Roadworks in Swansea City Centre

Before the coming of the Romans or even the Celts, Swansea city centre was being dug up for reasons lost to the mists of time.
Buy my book!
Latest posts by NotSoGreatDictator (see all)

Work on the gas pipeline along St. Helens Road in Swansea, has ground to a halt because contractors have unearthed what experts claim to be signs of pre-Christian roadworks.  A team of archaeologists from the University of Islamabad have been given six months to investigate the site which could prove to be home to the oldest known road works anywhere in the world.

The roadworks, which are thought to run along St. Helens Road and possibly the entire length of the Kingsway could be up to 5,000 years old and would have most likely been carried out by nomadic tribesmen or early settlers.  The current roadworks on the Kingsway have also been put on hold as a precautionary measure.

A spokesman for Swansea Council said “If a site as ancient and extensive as this proves to be genuine the tourist revenue could be astronomical. Since the road works in the city centre received recognition from UNESCO, Swansea has done a lot to market itself as the pinnacle of chaotic and unfathomable traffic disruption. This could really cement our position on the world stage.”

Although the Prince of Wales Roadworks are known to have dated back some 60 years it is now thought there have been roadworks on the site since the early Bronze age.

Dr. Ahmed Khan of Islamabad University said “We think this could be linked to the Indus Valley Civilisation which dated from around 3300 to 1300 BC.  Although they were originally from Harappa, in the Punjab we know they traveled extensively.  I have been pouring over an ancient text which came to light only last year and which I believe demonstrates a link between the Punjab and Wales.  The texts are a kind of travelogue and there are constant references to the miserable, relentless rain on almost every page. 

Also in the text is a story about a traveler who is walking along a forest path when he comes across a group of men.  The men are standing around talking but beside them is a large hole which they have dug and they will not let him pass. The traveler becomes enraged but they scold him and say it’s nothing to do with them. That he should talk to the village elders.  So he wanders the forest attempting to find the village elders and he is soon completely lost. Eventually, he is attacked by bears and torn to shreds. His body is never found.

There are many references in this story which I think place it in the Swansea area and the evidence uncovered at the St. Helens Road site seems to support my theory.  I believe that roadworks were being carried out in the Swansea area 5,000 years ago and that they greatly inconvenienced locals and travelers alike.  We currently have no idea what the exact purpose of the road works was although we are fairly certain they were mostly ceremonial or symbolic, much like today.”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here