Jeremy Corbyn (destroyer of worlds) has opened a back channel to formerly despotic tyrant Kim Jong Un in order to secure the future of Swansea’s tidal lagoon/Godzilla nursery. Mr Corbyn has also reached out to the famously anti-Tory city of Liverpool by announcing the creation of Doddzilla. This hybrid of funny man Ken Dodd and the infamous Godzilla is the creation of Neath-based mad scientists and will dwell within the Swansea Bay Tidal Lagoon.
Regular readers will remember Kim Jong Un’s Godzilas, originally destined for the lagoon, were destroyed by a marauding Ork army in a close-run contest of brawn Vs brawn. This led to massive unemployment issues within the Ork community who were bred for a single purpose. Having achieved this purpose their limited skill set meant they struggled to find alternative occupations. The soft skills, increasingly important in today’s diverse jobs market were totally lacking and they found it impossible to comply with even the most basic health and safety instructions.
The relaunch of the tidal lagoon project to breed the Ken Dodd, Godzilla hybrid for the North Korean dictator will bring a much-needed jobs boost to Swansea and the marauding Ork army in particular. Mr Corbyn has sworn to see the tidal lagoon project resurrected as part of his green jobs revolution. However, the prospect of Ken Dodd rampaging across South Wales, destroying whole communities with dragon breath whilst simultaneously cheering them up has angered many.
Mrs Daphne Flangepocket of Ystradgynlais wanted none of it. “What about the children? How are they supposed to grow up if a tormented genetic freak tramples them into the ground and incinerates the twisted remains? It’s the thin end of the wedge.”
A spokesman for the Ork army Boragg Khazgroz called for calm. “We will destroy the living and the dead with equal relish. Our armies will lay waste to the Doddzilla menace. Any who dare stand between us and our sworn mission shall feel the wrath of the thousand, thousand beasts at our command. Darkness and pain is the destiny of all our enemies for we have one purpose.”
He has since been dismissed from the Spontex 2019 Human Resources Graduate Program after it was discovered he lied on his CV.