More baby talk

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Edwin Phillips
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This is fascinating ‘news’

Our satirical writer Edwin Phillips reads another exhilarating column in Cardiff Life about becoming pregnant from television presenter Andrea Byrne after telling us news of her ‘magical year on maternity’, and following enthralling updates on her baby’s progress in the glossy magazine pushed through the doors of homes in the city.

 

I realise it will cheer up your humdrum worlds to know that it I do not always lead a glamorous life being an internationally known TV superstar.

We all wanted to know this

My husband, the former international star rugby player Lee (Byrne), and I told you all how hard it has been bringing baby Jemima into the world of international superstardom.

The South Wales Echo said that we “opened up” about our fertility treatment known as IVF, and how right they were!

I know of course that you will be fascinated to hear that we “started trying for a baby following a romantic New Year’s Day wedding ceremony in 2012” and that my hubby Lee the former international star rugby player (Byrne) had “always wanted to be a dad”.

Andrea and her baby Jemima visiting ITV Cymru Wales studios is significant information

As the South Wales Echo put it so well:  “… out of the blue Andrea was told she was pregnant with Jemima, who changed their world a year ago.”

This kind of news will add to the excitement of you all as I returned to your television screens presenting the news every night on ITV Cymru Wales. 

It is very important to me that my bosses at ITV Cymru Wales know how good they are, ahem!

As I said in my Cardiff Life column: “Thankfully ITV is a very forward-thinking organisation and Lee (former international star rugby player [Byrne]) is a very supportive husband”.

Andrea Byrne and her husband the former international star rugby player Lee (Byrne) who has been ‘so supportive’ with baby Jemima as seen in Cardiff Life

I know from the flood of a letter that the details I wrote, have been greeted with relief by my fan, when I told him: “I’m busy preparing for my return to work post-maternity.

“I’m back on your ITV screens delivering Wales’ evening news from 3 February, so with that in mind, I’ve been trying to give my presenting persona some practice runs and remind myself what it’s like to string proper sentences together again”, I said in my usual hilarious fashion.

Andrea Byrne and her baby make headlines for ITV Cymru Wales

In the past it has also been in my gift to offer all-important details about my private life, which have included going to a health spa:  “My treatment was… divineSeventy blissful minutes… I was in heaven”.

Further crucial details have also been offered by me, such as:  “I can safely say the products used here are some of the kindest on the market when it comes to looking after the health of your nails.” 

Getting into the right position is so important for Andrea

And:  “I was determined to find time to carry on (with yoga) when I became a mum.”

I am so open that I have even been prepared to give my fan vital news about my husband, the former international star rugby player Lee (Byrne).

These included:  “Thanks to dad Lee (former international star rugby player [Byrne]) again, I was so grateful to take 48 hours out to immerse myself in yoga again, in a beautiful coastal setting alongside ten other like-minded yogis.”

A picture of Andrea’s husband the former international star rugby player Lee (Byrne) holding the baby on holiday was so wrong. But so right

In my generosity I have provided significant details like:  “As well as blissfully relaxed, I also felt revitalised and rejuvenated…” and engrossing information about taking the baby on holiday with my husband the former international star rugby player Lee (Byrne):  “Passports, tickets, money and now we can add THE KITCHEN SINK!”.

I have also exclusively revealed further important information about my baby, such as:  “When she wasn’t sleeping or swimming, Jemima easily attracted quite a holiday fan club.

“She rocked her pink baby sunglasses wherever she went and there’s little doubt she was the coolest – and I think the cutest – baby in the resort! Though, of course, I may be a just a little bit biased!”.

Vital news…

Crucial details on the progress of my baby, were all there to be enjoyed in my Cardiff Life column, such as:  “…it won’t be long until Jemima has grown so much that we’ll no longer be able to have her in the baby carrier…”.

I understand your dull lives will have been brightened up by such news, so I also wrote that Jemima and I “paid another visit to the ITV Cymru Wales Cardiff studio to see all my news colleagues, which was very exciting”.

It will have been absorbing for my fan to learn that “Jemima settled straight into telly life, beaming for the camera”.

We all looked forward to Andrea being back on our screens

He wrote to me (clearly in code): “I am fed up to the back teeth hearing about your baby.  Why do you write this air-head rubbish?”.

Evidently he wants to know more about Jemima, and that my hubby Lee, the former international star rugby player (Byrne), and I have “opened up” in the South Wales Echo about our “dream baby”.

This is the kind of news my fan wants!

 

Tomorrow the anger of staff at a controversial Welsh university which is plunging in the tables but the Vice Chancellor receives a pay rise to £282,000 a year. 

Book posterOur Editor Phil Parry’s memories of his extraordinary 36-year award-winning career in journalism as he ‘opens up’ about being gripped by the incurable disabling condition Hereditary Spastic Paraplegia (HSP), have been released in a major new book ‘A GOOD STORY’. Order the book now!